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Letter to An Empath

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Some signs, from my own experience, you are an empath. I think everyone has these gifts to one degree or another, but I think empaths either have more acute felt senses or just trust what they feel more. These thoughts below come from how I have managed my own empathic skills over the years. There is no greater blessing or curse than to be able to feel the world so intensely, and I hope these ideas help you or someone you love to begin the journey to understanding the great gift of fully feeling life.


Dear Empath,

No you're not crazy. You have a powerful gift, a gift to treasure, to love, and to use for the greater good. You can see both the gross and the subtle reality of the universe with ease and clarity. You can peer into dimesions that give you a profoundly holistic view of the world. 

Here are some things you may have noticed about yourself and how you can learn to manage them so that you may be of greater service to yourself and others:

1. You have a powerful and accurate BS detector.

You just kind of know when something isn't right. You know it deep inside yourself. And when you listen to that information, you're always glad you did. When you don't listen to that information, you usually look back and say, "I knew there was something not right there god I wish I'd listened to myself."

When something doesn't feel right you really know it. Your body feels tense and constricted, and your body language has sense of inner recoil. It is like a massive feeling of "NO". You can't explain it to people and the best you can say is, "I just know something isn't right." Often people tell you you're being "too sensitive" or "acting irrationally." However, after the experience or person has passed out of your life, you and others see the reasons for your felt sense telling you to steer away.

And conversely you know for sure when something is right for you. It's like a harmonic resonance, an internal openness, and a massive "YES" from deep within your body. It feels easy, like deep breathing, and you are sure of this feeling of rightness even when it doesn't feel logical. And just like when things don't feel right, you see later down the road why you were so glad you trusted that big "YES" that burst forth from within you!

2. Your primary sense of the world is through feeling.

You trust what you feel much more than what you hear or what you see. You feel the inner felt-core of people or situations and can tell right away if what you are hearing or seeing matches what you are feeling. You recognize the felt-core is the information you receive from the deep center of an experience. You didn't always trust your feelings because there was a time in your life where the opinions and thoughts of others superseded your felt empathic sense. You discounted your intuition because others told you they were right and you were wrong. But over time, you grew to trust what you feel at the core of experiences because you knew the felt-core is where the truth exists. Situations can blind your eyes, people can lie to your ears, but you know nothing can hide the truth in the felt-core from your feeling senses.

3. You spend a lot of time separating your internal triggers from the emotional energy you are picking up from others.

Just because you pick up and feel everything around you, it doesn't mean that you don't have your own triggers that get activated. You take some time to ask yourself "is this me?" or "Is this person or situation triggering something in me?"

You know that this categorizing process is difficult because as an empath you absorb emotional energy into your own nervous system and interpret that information through your own memories and experiences. But you also gain confidence in your ability to sort out the information. You realize there's a different feeling when you are triggered internally. An internal trigger often has a sense of urgency and anxiety to it whereas the energy absorbed from others feels foreign to you, like a obsessive splinter stuck in your felt sense. You may suddenly be feeling self-conscious, or sad, or angry, and it feels confusing and out of place and you may even blame yourself for being too emotional or irrational. But you soon realize these are just emotional imprints being absorbed from the energy fields around you.

4. People often open up to you easily about personal subjects.

Other people can feel your ability to feel. When you listen, you don't just hear someone, you open another dimension of perception by feeling what they are saying. There is a resonance in your listening that, once you have cleared your own mind, allows people to feel fully seen with you. It surprises you at first how easily people seem to tell you some powerful stuff, but you become used to it and very grateful you can be there for people in a way that helps them feel fully heard and maybe helps a healing process begin. You may have found your way into a healing profession such as medicine, mental health, energy healing, yoga, or alternative medicine as it gives you a venue in which you can allow your natural gifts to be of great service.

5. Large social situations feel challenging even when you're gregarious and outgoing.

You actually love talking to people, and you like getting to know them, but in a large group you feel like it's very hard to focus. It's almost as if everyone in the room is tapping you on the shoulder and walking away. As you absorb this massive amount of energetic information you sometimes get flashes or images in your mind that don't make sense, a situation you were never in, a place you never knew, or a feeling foreign to your experience. You realize these are just energetic imprints coming in from the room around you. You realize you're ok and that taking breaks from the crowd and doing some deep breathing really helps you stay focused in your body and your own energy field.

6. You feel things very deeply.

You feel the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows. You often get stuck in emotions, and have been called "too sensitive" more times than you can count. You may have even tried to wall off your sensitivity and pretend it wasn't there. You may have tried to mitigate the emotional energy with substances, drama, sex, relationships, or other addictions. But at some point your body and mind push back against the repression and you may feel like you have come to some sort of crisis point or crossroads. You may see the toll the repression takes on your health, your relationships, or your mind. You realize you just have to acknowledge your gifts of felt sensitivity because not doing so is literally tearing you apart.

This crossroads is where you begin to start learning how to relax and trust yourself. It's a place where you begin to let yourself feel, and you begin to trust yourself much more and allow energy to move freely through you. It's a place where you discover your teachers who help you realize you're not crazy and how to manage your gifts. You realize there are a lot of people like you, that understand you, and that can guide you from their vantage point further down the road. You realize that at some point you need to get a handle on how to manage all the information coming into you, how to sort out your own triggers from what you are absorbing, and how to turn your sense up or down to manage what you take in. You also realize that skilled teachers teach you about letting go of what isn't yours, how to not feel so responsible for everyone, and how to use your senses skillfully and in a way that benefits and heals you and everyone around you.

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